School is in full swing. I am carrying 13 credits and working nearly full time. I am also spending as much time as possible with my grandson, Bu-bus.
I had to take my computer into the store and have the entire system wiped and returned to factory default settings. I told the guy at the store that I didn't care if he lost everything else, as long as he didn't lose the pics of my darling grandson. He did well.
While at the store, picking up my computer, I wandered over to the furniture section. There is a tempered milky glass L-shaped desk that I have been eyeing for quite some time and now it is on sale....color me very happy. I am picking it up tomorrow. I will later be getting the matching computer desk and shelf. I have a strong desire to be organised and out from under my clutter.....I am just not sure how to get there.
I think the first step is to go mercinary and clear out the stuff I don't use. I have a friend who will gladly take it off my hands for me. She's a giver like that.
A blog documenting my life, school, family, work and my conversion process. This should be fun.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
My grandson....
I got a call from my daughter on Saturday morning at 3:am telling me that her water had broken. Off I went to get her and take her to the hospital.
After almost 22 hours of labor, my daughter gave birth to my first grandchild.
He is so lovely and perfect and I am so very tired.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The Home Stretch....
My darling daughter, oldest spawn of mine is about 4 weeks from delivering my first grandchild into the world. My grandchild-to-be is a boy and is already much anticipated and loved. Currently, it is rather hot here in Oregon and my daughter is not really enjoying this most wonderous time in her life. Everytime I see her, she looks tired, very uncomfortable and, to be honest, a bit sweaty.
As any woman who has been pregnant can tell you, that "glow" that you hear about all the time from television shows and pregnancy books....that is actually over active oil glands triggered by out of control hormones. It is not "lovely". It is not "Ethereal". It is unpleasant.
There is a reason that men are not the ones who carry and deliver babies....Women are the ones who do this because nature knows that we have infinite more patience than men in general do. We have this level of patience because we have to deal with the stupid and ignorant comments from men all of our lives. If we can deal with having a headache and having a man ask us if we are "on the rag", well, we can certainly deal with varicose veins and bloated ankles.
When people tell me that I "don't look old enough to be a grandmother" I have to admit that it has become quite tiresome. I mean, what does a grandmother look like? Should I be wearing my grey hair up in a bun, dressed in a long flowery dress with a shawl wrapped around my shoulders and baking cookies (although, to be fair, I kick ass in the kitchen).
I have taken to responding to such observations by people with comments such as "well, I was the most popular girl at summer camp" *wink*
Well, I guess I should get back to my project of making baby bibs.
As any woman who has been pregnant can tell you, that "glow" that you hear about all the time from television shows and pregnancy books....that is actually over active oil glands triggered by out of control hormones. It is not "lovely". It is not "Ethereal". It is unpleasant.
There is a reason that men are not the ones who carry and deliver babies....Women are the ones who do this because nature knows that we have infinite more patience than men in general do. We have this level of patience because we have to deal with the stupid and ignorant comments from men all of our lives. If we can deal with having a headache and having a man ask us if we are "on the rag", well, we can certainly deal with varicose veins and bloated ankles.
When people tell me that I "don't look old enough to be a grandmother" I have to admit that it has become quite tiresome. I mean, what does a grandmother look like? Should I be wearing my grey hair up in a bun, dressed in a long flowery dress with a shawl wrapped around my shoulders and baking cookies (although, to be fair, I kick ass in the kitchen).
I have taken to responding to such observations by people with comments such as "well, I was the most popular girl at summer camp" *wink*
Well, I guess I should get back to my project of making baby bibs.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Shabbat dinner is served...
This last Friday night, I had company over for a Morroccan inspired meal. I served couscous with fresh veggies and an israeli spiced chicken. I really think it went over well.
We also had company over, I really like the idea of my home being filled with good friends and good conversations, it really is better that way, don't you think?
I am wanting to really focus on the practice of inviting people over every week for Shabbat dinner. This is part of my building a community of friends that is a safe place and welcoming place to be. I think that the most important thing is to keep connections with people who are important to you.
Since Alpha Male and I purchased a home and will be moving there in three years (I'm sure it will go faster than it seems)I want to work harder on forging long lasting relationships with people.
In other news, I am waiting to get my financial aide from FAFSA so that I can register for fall classes. I am thinking that if I can get some of the classes I need now, with the goal to re-enter school in a few years, if I want to do so, it will help me get my college degree.
I still plan to go to massage school but honestly, can you ever stop learning?
On the baby front, I got to go with my daughter to her doctors appointment and I got to hear the babies heartbeat, honestly, I almost started to bawl right there. I cannot fully express just how excited I am to meet my grandson when he makes his appearance into the world. He is already so loved and will always be so.
We also had company over, I really like the idea of my home being filled with good friends and good conversations, it really is better that way, don't you think?
I am wanting to really focus on the practice of inviting people over every week for Shabbat dinner. This is part of my building a community of friends that is a safe place and welcoming place to be. I think that the most important thing is to keep connections with people who are important to you.
Since Alpha Male and I purchased a home and will be moving there in three years (I'm sure it will go faster than it seems)I want to work harder on forging long lasting relationships with people.
In other news, I am waiting to get my financial aide from FAFSA so that I can register for fall classes. I am thinking that if I can get some of the classes I need now, with the goal to re-enter school in a few years, if I want to do so, it will help me get my college degree.
I still plan to go to massage school but honestly, can you ever stop learning?
On the baby front, I got to go with my daughter to her doctors appointment and I got to hear the babies heartbeat, honestly, I almost started to bawl right there. I cannot fully express just how excited I am to meet my grandson when he makes his appearance into the world. He is already so loved and will always be so.
Friday, June 3, 2011
House
A couple of weeks ago, Alpha Male went to Las Vegas to house hunt. We had decided that we would like to purchase a home and live there when he retired. Back in October, we flew there and looked at houses and actually had found one that we placed an offer on but never recieved a response so we continued to look.
When Alpha Male was in in Nevada, he rented a car and drove up to a little town called Parhump and actually found a house that he liked but there are lots of creepy crawlies like tarantulas, desert roaches and centepedes.
Um, no.
Knowing that I could never live in a place that had those sorts of creatures living that close to us and keep my sanity, Alpha Male looked in Vegas and found a lovely house for us.
We offered less than they were asking because there were issues with the pool needing to be fixed.
The owners countered with a slightly higher price which included fixing the pool and we accepted.
The nice thing is, we are able to pay for the house outright so there will be no payments other than utilities and yearly taxes.
Now, I have three years until we move and I have to seriously knuckle down and get my schooling done so we can take off in three years and live in our home we just bought.
Until we move down, we will be letting my stepdaughter and her kids live there. Either that or we will get a renter into the place and hire a property management firm. Either way, I won't have to worry. Too much.
When Alpha Male was in in Nevada, he rented a car and drove up to a little town called Parhump and actually found a house that he liked but there are lots of creepy crawlies like tarantulas, desert roaches and centepedes.
Um, no.
Knowing that I could never live in a place that had those sorts of creatures living that close to us and keep my sanity, Alpha Male looked in Vegas and found a lovely house for us.
We offered less than they were asking because there were issues with the pool needing to be fixed.
The owners countered with a slightly higher price which included fixing the pool and we accepted.
The nice thing is, we are able to pay for the house outright so there will be no payments other than utilities and yearly taxes.
Now, I have three years until we move and I have to seriously knuckle down and get my schooling done so we can take off in three years and live in our home we just bought.
Until we move down, we will be letting my stepdaughter and her kids live there. Either that or we will get a renter into the place and hire a property management firm. Either way, I won't have to worry. Too much.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Very Tired.....
Lately, I have been very tired. Alpha Male seems to be concerned, I tell him that it nothing to worry about, and that's true.
Honestly, I am a bit concerned with how I will deal with both school and work but I figure I should just be able to power through it. Eye on the prize and all that.
Today, I dropped my daughter off at the airport, She is flying back to visit her dad,step mother and sister in Texas. I am just waiting for her to call me and let me know she has arrived safely. I always worry about her when she flies but even more so now that she is pregnant with my first grandchild.
I honestly hate flying, I have watched too many news reports about crashes and seen too many stories about how our pilots, the people we are trusting with our very lives, are paid less than a Taco Bell manager.
Today, I was thinking about the weather related tragedies that have been occuring around the country, it is so very sad, people losing their homes, their families, their very lives. I just hope that there is enough compassion in the world to help them get through these challenges.
Honestly, I am a bit concerned with how I will deal with both school and work but I figure I should just be able to power through it. Eye on the prize and all that.
Today, I dropped my daughter off at the airport, She is flying back to visit her dad,step mother and sister in Texas. I am just waiting for her to call me and let me know she has arrived safely. I always worry about her when she flies but even more so now that she is pregnant with my first grandchild.
I honestly hate flying, I have watched too many news reports about crashes and seen too many stories about how our pilots, the people we are trusting with our very lives, are paid less than a Taco Bell manager.
Today, I was thinking about the weather related tragedies that have been occuring around the country, it is so very sad, people losing their homes, their families, their very lives. I just hope that there is enough compassion in the world to help them get through these challenges.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Today, I took the husband into an agency called "Extras Only". They are, as the name may suggest, a casting agency that specializes in casting extras for films and television. We live in a town that the show leverage is filmed in. Now, I have never seen the show and I have no idea what it is about. I imagine I should at least try to catch an episode or two, just in case Alpha Male is picked as an extra.
In other news of my life....a couple of weeks ago, Alpha Male went to Las Vegas to do some house hunting. We live in the Pacific NW, which, while a beautiful place to live, is not a good place to be for someone who has asthma and other issues such as arthritis. Alpha Male agreed to wait on us moving there until I am through with school. This should take just about 3 years, if I do it right.
Anyways, while down there, Alpha Male made a couple of offers and we had not heard back. As it turns out, the banks like to wait until the end of the month to look at all offers that have come in and then they decide which offer to accept and do so on the first of the next month. I find it quite lovely that the banks are so eager to take peoples homes when they are a bit late on payments but they have no issue with taking their time in accepting an offer. You would think that they would actually move quickly when an offer that is good comes their way. Guess we can never figure people out, can we?
I think I will take a creative writing course in the Fall, I think it can go far in making my blogging pop more!
In other news of my life....a couple of weeks ago, Alpha Male went to Las Vegas to do some house hunting. We live in the Pacific NW, which, while a beautiful place to live, is not a good place to be for someone who has asthma and other issues such as arthritis. Alpha Male agreed to wait on us moving there until I am through with school. This should take just about 3 years, if I do it right.
Anyways, while down there, Alpha Male made a couple of offers and we had not heard back. As it turns out, the banks like to wait until the end of the month to look at all offers that have come in and then they decide which offer to accept and do so on the first of the next month. I find it quite lovely that the banks are so eager to take peoples homes when they are a bit late on payments but they have no issue with taking their time in accepting an offer. You would think that they would actually move quickly when an offer that is good comes their way. Guess we can never figure people out, can we?
I think I will take a creative writing course in the Fall, I think it can go far in making my blogging pop more!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Essays....
Last week, I met with my Rabbi who I am working with for my conversion. I feel that it was a good meeting and I really like him. I was given the assignment to write an essay about me. He doesn't want the essay to be about why I am converting, but rather, how I got from my birth to sitting in his office 42 years later.
I am a bit torn....My childhood was not good, it was not pretty and it was not happy. I am the survivor of mental, emotional and sexual abuse; Had I not been made of what I am made of, I would, I am sure, be dead or hooked on drugs. The fact that I made it to where I am, relatively unscathed, is a true miracle.
Do I tell this to the Rabbi and hope for the best or do I just omit that bit about me, a bit that is very large and has served to shape me into the very person I am today.
I would like to think that in the end....we are all truly products of our experiences and we should embrace those experience's for what they are rather than hide them and never speak of them again. This is something I need to seriously mull over.
In other news, we are starting up our weekly shabbat dinners. I am very excited and have so much fun thinking of what exactly I will do every week for food.
School is going well, I look forward to having the summer off to get my bearings and to plan out my strategy as far as my education goes. We will see how the summer pans out.
Life is a funny thing, it gives you just what you need, even if you don't know that you need what you are being given.
I am a bit torn....My childhood was not good, it was not pretty and it was not happy. I am the survivor of mental, emotional and sexual abuse; Had I not been made of what I am made of, I would, I am sure, be dead or hooked on drugs. The fact that I made it to where I am, relatively unscathed, is a true miracle.
Do I tell this to the Rabbi and hope for the best or do I just omit that bit about me, a bit that is very large and has served to shape me into the very person I am today.
I would like to think that in the end....we are all truly products of our experiences and we should embrace those experience's for what they are rather than hide them and never speak of them again. This is something I need to seriously mull over.
In other news, we are starting up our weekly shabbat dinners. I am very excited and have so much fun thinking of what exactly I will do every week for food.
School is going well, I look forward to having the summer off to get my bearings and to plan out my strategy as far as my education goes. We will see how the summer pans out.
Life is a funny thing, it gives you just what you need, even if you don't know that you need what you are being given.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Thoughts on Modern Orthodox Judaism....
I am compiling a list of questions I have for the Rabbi I am meeting with. I really don't think it will be a problem to attend Synagogue and to keep the Sabbath and to follow all of the holidays. I do think I will have an issue with learning Hebrew...heck, I have a hard enough time with English sometimes.
Also, what do I do if the Rabbi wants my husband to also convert? I have mentioned it to my husband and I don't know how he feels about it. Anyways, I am making it my goal to have a shabbat dinner every week. I will be needing to get my grocery shopping done on Thursdays after work, it would seem. That, of course, means shopping without the husband in tow. This also means that I need to actually make plans for shabbat dinners.
I am good at planning, sadly, I tend to plan for more food than I really need, but it does actually come in handy with not cooking on Saturdays, so I guess it's a win win situation.
I also need to start looking at Tichels ......in case I do actually do this, I will be needing my Rabbi to send a note to my boss.....this should be interesting.
Also, what do I do if the Rabbi wants my husband to also convert? I have mentioned it to my husband and I don't know how he feels about it. Anyways, I am making it my goal to have a shabbat dinner every week. I will be needing to get my grocery shopping done on Thursdays after work, it would seem. That, of course, means shopping without the husband in tow. This also means that I need to actually make plans for shabbat dinners.
I am good at planning, sadly, I tend to plan for more food than I really need, but it does actually come in handy with not cooking on Saturdays, so I guess it's a win win situation.
I also need to start looking at Tichels ......in case I do actually do this, I will be needing my Rabbi to send a note to my boss.....this should be interesting.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
A New Direction.....
So, I am really really considering the return (I really dislike the term conversion in my case) to Judaism as an orthodox or Modern orthodox process. This is really something that I need to do for my own self.
Of course, I grew up attending church and celebrating Christmas, Halloween, Easter and I imagine that I should, to most people, find some sadness or conflict with my moving in this direction, but I don't. Lets face it, I'm not really that close to my family and I am sure that they aren't really concerned with what I do in my life so they definately won't be too concerned with this path I am on.
I meet next week with the Rabbi of the local Orthodox shul. I know this gentleman so I am rather excited.
Will report back.
Of course, I grew up attending church and celebrating Christmas, Halloween, Easter and I imagine that I should, to most people, find some sadness or conflict with my moving in this direction, but I don't. Lets face it, I'm not really that close to my family and I am sure that they aren't really concerned with what I do in my life so they definately won't be too concerned with this path I am on.
I meet next week with the Rabbi of the local Orthodox shul. I know this gentleman so I am rather excited.
Will report back.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
no title
I just got home from a work meeting and I had a great time. I think it is a rather rare thing when one can say that they truly like all the people they work with and I think that if you are able to say it, you should count yourself very lucky. I do count myself very lucky.
Working for the coffee company I work for is very rewarding....I love our customers and I love that we are able to make peoples days good.
Can you believe that the company I work for has been around for 40 years? This company was started when I was only two years old and look at where it is, bet they never really saw that coming, did they?
School is going well, really well. I have, unfortunately had to take one or two classes a term because I am currently paying out of my own pocket so that makes carrying a full case load very expensive and not really possible, unless you are really rich, which I am not.
I did apply for financial aid for the 2011/2012 year....guess we will see how that goes. Even if I had to pay for my books, it would still be a huge help.
My daughter is around 3 months along, and she seems to be doing well. I will feel better when she gets to a doctor to get pre-natal care and make sure baby is doing well. I have already purchased a gift for the baby...a pair of Harley Davidson booties, so cute!
I don't really have anything else to say so I think I will head off to bed now.
Working for the coffee company I work for is very rewarding....I love our customers and I love that we are able to make peoples days good.
Can you believe that the company I work for has been around for 40 years? This company was started when I was only two years old and look at where it is, bet they never really saw that coming, did they?
School is going well, really well. I have, unfortunately had to take one or two classes a term because I am currently paying out of my own pocket so that makes carrying a full case load very expensive and not really possible, unless you are really rich, which I am not.
I did apply for financial aid for the 2011/2012 year....guess we will see how that goes. Even if I had to pay for my books, it would still be a huge help.
My daughter is around 3 months along, and she seems to be doing well. I will feel better when she gets to a doctor to get pre-natal care and make sure baby is doing well. I have already purchased a gift for the baby...a pair of Harley Davidson booties, so cute!
I don't really have anything else to say so I think I will head off to bed now.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Babies
Well, as I posted earlier, my daughter is preggy. She is due in September. September 11 to be exact. I feel, somewhere deep in my gut that I should somehow be concerned about what the due date says but then I realize that this is my daughter and as such, this child will most likely prefer to hang out in her womb, rather than come out. I say this because when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was actually trying to bargain with her and bribe her to come out since she was past her due date.
So I have to throw her a baby shower and she wants my mom to be there. I have not spoken to my mother for over a year, and with good reason...she is a toxic person and I am considerably lucky that I have grown to become a stable member of society.
I will be having the baby shower at my friends restaurant where there is a bar. I am going to have to assure that they have vodka and whisky.
So I have to throw her a baby shower and she wants my mom to be there. I have not spoken to my mother for over a year, and with good reason...she is a toxic person and I am considerably lucky that I have grown to become a stable member of society.
I will be having the baby shower at my friends restaurant where there is a bar. I am going to have to assure that they have vodka and whisky.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
In which I discuss becoming a grandma...
Recently, my daughter told me that she is expecting a baby. This will be my first grandchild, so needless to say, I was happy...."OH MY GOD!!!!! YOU'RE HAVING A BABY?!?!" was my understated reaction. I then, like many grandmothers before me, started to plan the baby shower. Trust me, this is nothing new for me. Hell, I remember the day she was born and the doctor said, "congratulations, you have a healthy baby girl"
My reaction? "Ohhhhh, she will look so beautiful on her wedding day."
Anyways, when my daughter told me, I asked her when I could start sharing the news and she told me I couldn't post on FB.....I of course, respect her wishes so I did not post on FB. I sent private messages to my friends and family. See? total respect.
So, yeah, I'm going to be a grandma. I have to admit, I always figured I would be 50 or so when my first grandchild would arrive. At least, that was the plan....plans, of course, don't mean much when the universe decides to act.
This child is such a blessing, to both sides of my daughters family and we are, of course, all very excited.
I'm already looking at Ugg boots.
My reaction? "Ohhhhh, she will look so beautiful on her wedding day."
Anyways, when my daughter told me, I asked her when I could start sharing the news and she told me I couldn't post on FB.....I of course, respect her wishes so I did not post on FB. I sent private messages to my friends and family. See? total respect.
So, yeah, I'm going to be a grandma. I have to admit, I always figured I would be 50 or so when my first grandchild would arrive. At least, that was the plan....plans, of course, don't mean much when the universe decides to act.
This child is such a blessing, to both sides of my daughters family and we are, of course, all very excited.
I'm already looking at Ugg boots.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Paths....
Life is a funny thing. We all come into this world in pretty much the same way and our parents see our paths as something they set us on.
We grow, we learn and we experience things that may lead us to chose a different path than we had originally been set upon.
Eventually, once we become adults, we settle into this idea that we are on the path we are supposed to be on and we go merrily along.
Sometimes, something profound happens in our lives and we realize that the path we are on and that we believed was the right one is, in fact, one we need to get off of.
I am on a new path....don't get me wrong, I am still Jewish, still a believer. I am also a Shaman in training.....I have chosen to follow the calling to the shamanic work.
I know that this is true and right and what is meant to be. I am excited to be here, it is an adventure that I am so excited about. I cannot wait to see where this path takes me.
We grow, we learn and we experience things that may lead us to chose a different path than we had originally been set upon.
Eventually, once we become adults, we settle into this idea that we are on the path we are supposed to be on and we go merrily along.
Sometimes, something profound happens in our lives and we realize that the path we are on and that we believed was the right one is, in fact, one we need to get off of.
I am on a new path....don't get me wrong, I am still Jewish, still a believer. I am also a Shaman in training.....I have chosen to follow the calling to the shamanic work.
I know that this is true and right and what is meant to be. I am excited to be here, it is an adventure that I am so excited about. I cannot wait to see where this path takes me.
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