The way it used to be....

I am a huge fan of "Mad Men". I love everything about that show...the way people dressed, the way they behaved, the way they just "were". Our world has become so hectic and it seems as though people don't actually put any thought or take any pride in the way they dress.
I work in a grocery store and, at least once a day, I see someone come walking in wearing their pajama bottoms. Seriously, is it that hard or are people just too damned lazy to put on a pair of pants before they leave their homes?
If you desire the comfort that comes with pj pants, get yourself some yoga pants from Old Navy (they are rather affordable) and put those on before you step foot into public.
I have compiled a list of when it is ok and not ok to wear pj pants.....

Times when it is acceptable to wear pj bottoms:

1. in bed or at home
2. when you have a baby coming out of your body and you need to get to the hospital.
3. you just had a baby come out of you and are now heading home
4. you are in your yard, taking the dog out to do its business
5. your child is in need of emergency medical assistance and you are taking them to the hospital
6. during a "pajama party" with your girlfriends.

When it is not acceptable to wear pajama bottoms:
1. going to the store
2. going to a restaurant
3. going to the coffee house for coffee
4. any times other than the "acceptable"list

Why cant we just go back to having pride in our appearance? Is that too much to ask for?

New adventure....

I/we (the husband and myself) have been looking for a new hobby. We used to ride a Harley but he had to sell his bike and he has not replaced it yet.
We have been watching The Tudors on Showtime and have purchased season one and season two.
As we watched, my dear husband indicated that he liked the clothing and would like to get involved with the Society for Creative Anachronism.
I used to be heavily involved with the SCA but due to personal issues and my world blowing up....I left. When I left, I had made enemies but I didn't care because I "was never coming back"...famous last words.

We will be attending a feast and masked ball in January....I will be creating Tudor mens and womens clothing.

Even if the people I angered are there, at least I will look good.

WORK WORK WORK

That is what my life seems to be comprised of...work work work....small break for school....work work work.

Yeah, you get the idea.

Honestly, I love my job. I have a great team of good people working under me. I have made some friends and I can say that 99.9% of the time, I actually want to go to work.
School starts back up soon. Sticking with the Cultural Anthropology degree.....see where that takes me.

I wish I knew why I cant sleep much anymore...perhaps it is the ghosts of the past coming to visit...?

Different topic....I was asked, a while ago, if I could ever be friends again with M. After much thought, I said that I couldn't.
Sure, what we had, as friends, was good....for a while and then, it went really bad. I think that both of us had come to the end and neither of us was willing to "blink" and just put it to rest.
Do I think she over reacted in regards to what I said? Yes, I do.
Do I think I should have just listened to my gut instincts and said "goodbye" while things were still pretty good? You bet I do. Without a doubt.

Life is too short to dwell on the "should have, would have, could have" train of thought. Let me just say, for the record....she is good at her job....I would reccomend her in a heartbeat if someone was looking for an energy medicine practitioner because of how she can be compassionate.
In the end, I wish her pure joy and happiness. Always.

Setting the internal clock....

So, I spent my last day at the current store working. It was a nice day, steady and the customers were wonderful. Except for one, but we won't talk about her today.
With the new location, I have to be there at 6:30 in the morning and it isn't near my house so I actually will have to deal with the morning commutes.
I have been setting my clock to get up at 4:30 in the morning but have not been very successful. I start at the new location on Tuesday and need to spend tonight and Monday night getting to bed at 8:pm....no excuses. Why is it that when we get older we have a harder time adjusting to changes? Changes in life, in the world, in family. In sleep?
I will ponder that as I go through my day today.

Oh, Hi there!

What to do, what to say, what to write......well, let's start with my religious education. As mentioned in my last entry, I was taking Intro to Judaism classes. Now, I am taking the next step in the journey and taking conversion classes. These classes entail trying to learn some basic Hebrew....note that I said "trying".....this is a very hard language to learn...but it is neccessary so I stick to it. The next step is to have meetings one on one with my Rabbi. I also have to write an essay about this journey.

School....I am registered for the spring term for a math class and an anthropology class. I am planning on majoring in psychology and minoring in cultural anthropology. I have to hammer out some math classes first. I hate math....my brain doesn't work well with numbers but rather with language and other forms of creativity. I have no choice though and I will just have to power through it.

Friends...friendship is a funny thing. You meet people and you connect with them and you spend time and energy getting to know them. You build these wonderful memories with them. Then something happens, it may be a small something but it really has such a tremendous impact on the friendship and it damages the friendship. Sometimes the damage can be fixed and sometimes it only has the appearance of being fixed.

It's like a vase that breaks......You put the vase back together with glue and it appears to be "as good as new", until you try and put water and flowers into the vase and you see the water leaking out and you realize that it will never be fixed, it will never be the way it used to be. It will never hold water.

I just recently lost a friendship that was like that vase. We both said and did things that have damaged the friendship...but I insisted on trying to hold onto the friendship because I wanted to so badly believe that there was something worth salvaging and I thing she did too. We were both wrong and now we have gone our seperate ways. It's for the best and the only thing I feel bad about is that I don't feel bad about the end.

.

Work....got a promotion and will be switching stores....this is very cool. I am so lucky to have a job that I like to do. Let's see if I still like it in a few months.

Creating....Been making cards, been loving it.

Marriage....I have been so blessed to have a wonderful and supportive husband....I am grateful that he was brought into my life. We just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary.

It's Been a While

Many changes have occured. I am in the tail end of Introduction to Judaism classes. This is the first step towards reclaiming my "Jewish-ness". Within the next month, I will be starting classes to undergo a return/conversion into the Conservative stream of Judaism.
My oldest daughter has come to live with us....she is 20 and a good kid...she just fell on financial hard times, much like many Americans. Luckily, she has family who is there for her.

I don't see the kids anymore.....painful as it is, it is something I have had to accept. The last time I saw them, I gave him his 5th birthday gift, "Where the Wild Things Are". Inside the book I wrote "To Gannon, on your 5th birthday....Let your imagination take you anywhere you wish to go. Love Tabby". I got to read the book to him, reading was always something he and I did together.
My husband says that the past 5 years I was in the kids' lives, I made such a profound impact that they will carry it with them for the rest of their lives.
I have lots of pictures (over 4000 total) so I can always look at those. Sadly, they make me cry. As they were driving away that last time I saw them, the song by Flogging Molly, "If I Ever Leave This World Alive" was playing....I have it downloaded on my phone now so I can think of them whenever I want. Again, thinking of them makes me cry, but it's good tears.
Planning on going back to school in the Spring.....just have to get my ass in gear.

Lee Iacocca speaks....

Remember Lee Iacocca, the man who rescued Chrysler Corporation from its death throes? He's now 82 year old and has a new book "Where Have All The Leaders Gone?".Lee Iacocca says:

"Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder!'We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car.'But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, 'Stay the course.'Stay the course? You've got to be kidding.This is America, not the damned 'Titanic'. I'll give you a sound bite: 'Throw all the bums out!'You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and maybe I have. But someone has to speak up. I hardly recognize this country anymore.The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in handcuffs.While we're fiddling in Iraq, the Middle East is burning and nobody seems to know what to do.And the Press is waving 'pom-poms' instead of asking hard questions.That's not the promise of the 'America' my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for. I've had enough. How about you?I'll go a step further.You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not outraged. This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have.The Biggest 'C' is Crisis! (Iacocca elaborates on nine C's of leadership, with crisis being the first.)Leaders are made, not born.Leadership is forged in times of crisis.It's easy to sit there with your feet up on the desk and talk theory.Or send someone else's kids off to war when you've never seen a battlefield yourself.It's another thing to lead when your world comes tumbling down.On September 11,2001, we needed a strong leader more than any other time in our history.We needed a steady hand to guide us out of the ashes. A hell of a mess, so here's where we stand.We're immersed in a bloody war with not plan for winning and no plan for leaving.We're running the biggest deficit in the history of our country.We're losing the manufacturing edge to Asia, while our once-great companies are getting slaughtered by heath care costs.Gas prices are skyrocketing, and nobody in power has a coherent energy policy.Our schools are in trouble.Our borders are like sieves.The middle class is being squeezed every which way.These are times that cry out for leadership.But when you look around, you've got to ask, 'Where have all the Leaders gone?'Where are the curious, creative communicators?Where are the people of character, courage, conviction, omnipotence, and common sense?I may be a sucker for alliteration, but I think you get the point.Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than making us take of our shoes in airports and throw away our shampoo?We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have already happened.Name me one leader who emerged from the crisis of Hurricane Katrina.Congress has yet to spend a single day evaluating the response to the hurricane or demanding accountability for the decisions that were made in the crucial hours after the storm. Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping it doesn't happen again.Now, that's just crazy. Storms happen. Deal with it. Make a plan. Figure out what you're going to do the next time.Name me an industry leader who is thinking cretively about how we can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing.Who would have believed that there could ever be a time when 'The Big Three' referred to Japanese car companies? How did this happen, and more important, what are we going to do about it? Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying down the debit, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health care problem.The silence is deafening.But these are the crises that are eating away at our country and milking the middle class dry. I have news for the gang in Congress.We didn't elect you to sit on your asses and do nothing and remain silent while our democracy is being hijacked and our greatness is being replaced with mediocrity.What is everybody so afraid of?That some bonehead on Fox News will call them a name? Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some spine for a change.I'm trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have have hope-I believe in America.In my lifetime, I've had the privilage of living through some of America's greatest moments.I've also experienced some of our worst crises:The 'Great Depression''World War II'the 'Korean War'the 'Kennedy Assassination'the 'Vietnam War'the 1970's oil crises, and the struggles of recent years culminating with 9/11.If I've learned one thing, it's this:You don't get anywhere by standing on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to take action. Whether it's building a better car or building a better future for our children, we all have a role to play.That's the challenge I'm raising in this book. It's called a "Call to Action" for people who, like me, believe in America. It's not too late, but it's getting pretty close.So lets shake off the crap and go to work. Let's tell 'em all we've had 'enough'. Make your own contribution by sending this to everyone you know and care about. It's our country, folks, and it's our future.Our future is at stake!"